Finding The Positives in Divorce
You’ve argued, you’ve cried, and you’ve just not been able to work it out. Maybe you’ve tried marriage counselling, given ultimatums and tried temporary break-ups all to no avail. There are highs and lows in any relationship, but if you’ve reached the end of the line then it’s time to call it quits with your marriage.
While this is inevitably a difficult time, when you’ve had the chance to mourn and recover there are actually a number of surprising perks to making this permanent split. Once everything is finalised with your divorce attorney and you’re looking to the future, here’s why it actually could have been the best thing that’s happened to you.
Divorce Can Be Positive For Children
One of the main concerns when getting divorced is often the wellbeing of the children. Divorce is often seen to be a very negative thing in a child’s life, but in fact in many cases it can be extremely positive. If your marriage has involved a lot of conflict and arguments then taking the children out of that situation can do absolute wonders for their mental health, and bring them a lot of relief. This is especially true in the case of violence and substance abuse, but even passive aggressive comments thrown back and forth and a negative atmosphere in the home can be picked up on by children.
For some families, living apart just generally works better- the home is likely to be a calmer environment once the conflict has been removed. Without the ongoing arguments and disputes, once each parent has come to terms with the split they are likely to be happier and a generally a more positive role model for the children. Parents can throw their energies into their kids, and if the custody is split between them both then it still allows them to maintain good relationships with both their mother and father.
Divorce Allows You To Start a New Chapter
Rather than having to keep revisiting the same issues and problems that caused your marriage to end, you can finally be rid of that cloud over your head once and for all. You can move into an entirely new chapter in your life that’s free of previous troubles and stresses and start again as a wiser and happier adult.
You have full reign to totally reinvent yourself– perhaps you’ve always worn your hair a certain way or dressed in a certain style because you knew it’s what your ex husband preferred? (it could have been a deliberate or subconscious decision). Or maybe you’ve just lost touch with the old ‘you’ after being in a partnership for so long. A divorce can lead to improved sense of confidence and a rediscovery of yourself. Find out who you are again and what makes you tick. Decide what is going to make you happy now and in the future, and go for it.
Divorce Can Lead to Better Physical and Emotional Health
High levels of stress like those caused from a failing marriage can wreak havoc on your physical and mental health. Moving on from all of that you should develop a new sense of freedom and happiness from being by yourself. You might decide to eat better, workout or take better care of yourself to feel good for you. Either way, the positive health changes that can come from divorce are a fantastic silver lining.
This post is a contributed post.