Would you tell him or her?
For instance, say you have a friend that had always looked relatively normal. Then suddenly they started looking more and more like a crackhead…or meth-head. What would you do? Would you ask them if all was well? Would you ask them if they are hittin’ the pipe?
What if the exact moment you thought so and so looks like a meth-head you get a message from another friend saying “so and so is lookin’ like a crackhead”. Would that be enough to confirm that something must be going on?
I’ve always been really good at reading people and have known people were on drugs before anyone else did. I have seen it too much in my lifetime.
Anyhow, I really want to know what you would do…
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Girl on Fire
Photographer at Loudmouth Photography
Brandy is the wife to a carpenter/musician and the mother of 3 amazingly awesome homeschool/unschooled girls. Brandy is a Photographer as well as a Coach for the Weebellion as part of Rolling Rebellion Jr. Roller Derby. Brandy is passionate about many things and suffers from a very painful and degenerative neurological disease called CRPS/RSD.
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i don’t know if i would question them .it would depend on well my relationship was with my friend. I would just observe them a little bit more closely and if things started showing a little more toward drug abuse then i would causal bring up drug abuse in some situation that may have happened in the news and how i felt about it then maybe ask my friend what her/his opinion was about it.Hopefully they would open up. but i would never directly ask my friend about heir participation in drugs because the outcome could be 1.they will lie2.Become defensive about it 3.maybe i could help him or her from a far and if i am accusing them they will push me away and maybe go of the deep end.
I would tell my friend directly and in private that he/she was not looking well and ask if there’s anything I can do to help? If I got a BS answer or the situation went on too long, I’d ask directly, “You hittin’ the pipe?”
In the case of another friend texting such an observation, I would not say anything or respond to that–it would feel like “talking behind the back” of my first friend. However, if the first friend gave me BS or the situation went on too long, I might then call in other friends.
I actually know that this is exactly how I would handle the situation.
I think you should say something. What you say would depend on how close you were to this friend. You could start with asking them how they are doing and be gentle when you say that they look awful and you’re concerned. Or, if you think they need to hear the cold hard facts you could go the other extreme and just tell them they look like a crack head. It’s possible they are sick and not using drugs, but you never know until you ask. Either way, I think you should say something. Real friends speak the truth even when it isn’t convenient, IMHO.
I would for sure first ask them how they were feeling………. ‘looking like a crackhead’ could be stress or depression which is much more common than a carck/meth habit.
I would ask if they are getting enough sleep, or if something was bothering them.Perhaps something is medically wrong.
I have a story to tell…. my husband who has long hair (he donates to Locks of Love) was having some dental work done… he had gotten hit in the mouth when a wrench flew off of a motor and was missing a few teeth before they were fixed. A few days after the dental work was done he and I were driving down the street and we needed to ask directions- hubby leaned out of the window and asked and one of the people called him a ‘crackhead’ . I guess the reason for that was his long hair and missing teeth. He is a good kind man who has never done crack and donates his hair. I saw the hurt in his eyes and I was so mad .
Most likely it is something else- but even if it is meth, if you are a friend, ask the other caring questions first .