Help! She screams bloody murder like you are hurting her. She does this before you even get her hair wet! I swear I freak thinking someone walking by is going to call the cops thinking I am abusing this child.
I have had talk after talk with her. I’ve tried letting her do it all her self. It just is not working! She will trash around and make this huge deal when I try to do it.
I need some advice!
Tonight after her bath I laid in her bed with her and we had the talk yet again. I told her that she has to be clean or she can get sick. I also told her that she likes her hair to be pretty and it needs to be washed. Then I told her that if she doesn’t want to wash her hair we may need to shave her head.
She says….
“That’s Ok, I can wear a wig mama…”
Help me…
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Girl on Fire
Photographer at Loudmouth Photography
Brandy is the wife to a carpenter/musician and the mother of 3 amazingly awesome homeschool/unschooled girls. Brandy is a Photographer as well as a Coach for the Weebellion as part of Rolling Rebellion Jr. Roller Derby. Brandy is passionate about many things and suffers from a very painful and degenerative neurological disease called CRPS/RSD.
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I know how you feel. Owen (he’s 5) JUST started to let me wash his hair again. It was fine when he was a year to a year and a half. Then he hit 2 and it’s been hell ever since. I can’t give any tips or help other than the obvious of try not to freak out cause she’s freaking out. I know I’ve been guilty of that quite a few times when I dealt with it with Owen. Hopefully she grows out of the phase soon.
UGH, it sounds like someone is being murdered….for real! She just turned 4. I even try showers. The only person she does not do this to is her daddy. Maybe I need to put him on her bath duty for a bit!
Lauren does this too. At the moment we live in corporate housing, and I’m SO worried someone is going to call the cops for fear I’m abusing my kid. I threatened to shave her head because it was so ridiculous. FINALLY, Lauren decided she liked showers. She’ll now let me wash her hair and rinse it with no screaming. I also got her hair cut to shoulder length so it wouldn’t be so long. I wish you luck!
you just described the whole scene of washing my 4 yr old sons’ hair. Sometimes i wonder if that’s why the neighbors moved.
I try to make a game out of it and let him wet his hair. Then when he’s not looking I add the shampoo still acting like I’m playing a game…Then he touches and realizes its up there and this is when the crying and the screaming starts. then I tell him dont’ move!! There’s a spider on your head. You have be quiet or he won’t get off.
This works with boys…not sure what a girl will do…
So he gets real quiet and I slowly use my had to start rinsing…then when I need to get to the front I had him a washcloth to cover his eyes and get a bucket of water…and RINSE fast!!
He starts to cry and scream and I get all wet but it’s worth it. We wash his hair twice a week.
I think it takes time and little one’s like the drama and getting more attention from mama matter what’s going on is fun for them. That’s my theory anyhow. lol
good luck
LOL. Leave it to Emma to think of the wig……..good luck…….
Good luck with it. My toddler hates having his hair washed so the only solution we have come up with is to cover his eyes with a wash cloth and use a pitcher container of water to rinse very quickly.
Hi, I do lots of baths when I babysit and have helped many kids through their fear of washing hair. These are the methods that always work. I have never had a child cry yet even if they start out totally terrified! These methods are for truly kids who are scared though they will work with any kid who protests shampooing. I do not use any methods when wetting or rinsing hair that involve lying back in the bath water or under a faucet, I, never in the beginning, use a cup to either wet or rinse. (Later it is usually fine to use a cup but a sportsbottle works better. see below) The above methods are very frightening to a child who has a fear of hairwashing. I am very gentle scrubbing a childs hair as they tend to be tenderheaded and do not like or require a vigorous scrub to get their hair clean. If for some reason a child had paint or something sticky in their hair, I still rub gently just a little longer and the kids don’t mind that when you are gentle I always reassure frightened kids before and during hairwashing. I talk calmly explaining everything I do. I talk about the bath and washing hair at dinner or earlier before bathtime to find out if they are scared. It gives me a chance to find out what scares them and to reassure them I won’t get water and shampoo in their eyes and let them know my methods of accomplishing that. During the bath I am careful to listen and observe distress. One little girl was scared for a minute and started whining when I turned on the faucet for to rinse the bath puppet that I had been gently scrubbing her hair with. I reassured her I would not lay her under the faucet but needed to rinse the puppet . That is all I needed to say and she was fine. Now on to methods for helping your kids deal with their fear. First buy or make some bath puppets. Get extras so the kids have one each in the tub. Also make sure you have three unbreakable mirrors for the kids. Last of all when you shower and shampoo practice making soapy ears on your head, batman horns or whatever your kids happen to be into & oh yeah, buy some brand new tear free kids shampoo. The old bottle of shampoo probably brings back unhappy memories to the kids. Some kids scream when they see the bottle. Make sure you have a little extra time the fist couple of times you try the new methods of washing hair. You may want to call washing/ or shampooing hair something else eg, making bubbles, making ears, cleaning hair, anything that sounds different if the word wash,etc inspires fear. Now on to the next step. When you and the kids are eating dinner or out on a errand or just hanging out it is a good time to talk about your new fun way of doing hair. Explain to your kids that you understand whay they hate having their hair washed (or whatever you usually call it) and that someone has told you a way to have fun and keep the soap and water out of their eyes/face. They will want to know what it is. Show the the puppets first but wait until the bath to let them play with them. Next tell your kids that looking up and making coyote, dog, or wolf calls will keep the soap and water off their faces and out of their eyes. Demonstrate how to make a wolf call and watch the smiles on your kids faces. Show them how the water will go down their backs. Next tell them you will making them animal soap ears and they can look in the mirror. This gets the kids thinking of fun they will have. When you try the new shampooing methods at bathtime make sure you have a little extra time and are not in a rush. It does take a little more time initially, but not as much time as shampooing a struggling, screaming child. After your child trust you, it will not take any more time than for a typical bath and shampoo. The kids I sit for no longer pay attention to hairwashing but keep on playing in the tub with toys I bring for them. They make coyote calls and look up for me to rinse their hair but go right back to playing. We still make the occasional ears though. Washing hair will become fun and you will not have a stressful night with three screaming upset kids. For the kids who are okay after the shampoo- still a few minutes of screaming can wear on you especially with more than one child that screams. Once you have gained trust you can eventually use a sports bottle to rinse instead of the puppets which will make shampooing faster. Sports bottles are much better than cups because the water goes just where you want it and the kids like to play with it afterwards. Always keep your promise to keep water and soap out of their faces. In the case of occasional drips I quickly dry their face with a towel and say “look at that silly water trying to drip on you” using a silly voice. The kids may want to try rinsing different ways which you should encourage. Getting faces wet eventually won’t matter. The kids who used to be so scared now love to dive and splash and don’t care if water get’s on their faces, they just don’t like soap in thier eyes and let’s face it, adults don’t like that either! Kids who were very scared of washing hair afterwards beg for me to give them baths and make soap ears which I am more than happy to. the parents are thrilled too! Let me know if you need any additional ideas. I have shared this time and time again and it always works. Please share your experince and these methods with other parents to help them with their kids who are scared of hair washing. Wishing you and your kids lots of laughs
Harriet
I know my response above is very long but I truly want to help all those parents who have kids who hate having their hair washed so the kids and the parents can enjoy bath and shampoo night instead of having screamfests.
Harriet