There are some people who always know that they are meant to be parents, and others that can take their time getting to the point where they are ready to start a family, either way when you are actively trying to conceive, and it’s just not working, it’s easy to panic. The process of trying to get pregnant can take over your life, particularly when it doesn’t seem to be happening as quickly as perhaps you hoped it would.
Many fertility-challenged couple’s end up sucked into a whirlpool of stress, sadness, and despair, their whole lives revolving around their apparent inability to get pregnant. While not being able to get pregnant as quickly as you may have hoped that you would do, can be stressful and upsetting, it’s important to bear in mind that different couples can take different times to get pregnant, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that anything’s wrong.
If you’re struggling to get pregnant, it’s important to bear in mind that you can’t always change your circumstances, regardless of how much you want to. Instead, what it’s important to do is learn how to cope with the situation at hand, such as struggling to get pregnant and trying not to stress too much about it.
Before you even think about trying to get pregnant, you’ll need to get std testing. I know, I know… but it’s important to know these things first. There are std’s that can actually lay dormant in your system and you’ll want to make sure everything is clear and good to go before trying for a baby.
Bearing that in mind, below is a guide to the struggles that many couples face when it comes to fertility, and some useful tips and advice for dealing with them.
Don’t focus on ‘trying’ constantly
When it comes to trying to conceive, it’s easy to constantly focus on this, and end up obsessing over it. If you constantly think about getting pregnant at the exclusion of everything else, it will have a negative impact on your relationship with your partner, yourself, and others. Instead of obsessing, try to simply incorporate trying to conceive into your life, as just another part of your week.
It’s also to remember to only try to get pregnant when you are ovulating – you can use ovulation sticks to check this – as that way, your partner’s swimmers will be far stronger and thus, more likely to result in a pregnancy. It’s also worth reminding your partner not to take baths that are too hot, as this can decrease their fertility levels.
Ignore the two-week wait
One of the hardest parts of trying to get pregnant is the two-week wait. This is the time between ovulation and your next period, and it can be highly stressful, that is if you obsess over it. The fact is that when it comes to waiting to see if you are pregnant, it’s normal to feel a little anxious, but if you let this feeling overtake your life, you may end up delaying your period through stress and getting your hopes up, only to end up disappointed.
Instead of letting the two-week wait take over, and doing numerous pregnancy tests in the hope that you might get an early positive, try to focus on something else. The best thing that you can do is to try to keep yourself busy – like you would when trying to get over a breakup. Stay physically and mentally active, go for a run, find a new hobby, read a book – do whatever you can to keep yourself busy. Admittedly, you probably won’t be able to remove the anxiety completely from your mind, but if you can try not to obsess over it, the two-week wait should pass more quickly.
Don’t let the arrival of ‘Aunt Flo’ get you down
When you are trying to get pregnant and go to the bathroom to find that good old ‘Aunt Flo’ has paid you a visit, it can be incredibly upsetting. The idea that despite trying to conceive, things still haven’t worked out, can be totally and completely devastating. While you may feel like you’ll never get pregnant, what it’s important to remember is that just because you’ve come on your period, that doesn’t have to mean that next time you try to conceive you will do. Remember, while some couples get pregnant when they try the first time, it can take other couple’s up to a year – or sometimes even longer to conceive – so don’t let the arrival of ‘Aunt Flo’ get you down.
It’s perfectly fine to spend a day snuggled up on the sofa with a hot water bottle, a box of chocolates and a stack of DVDs, but don’t let the one day spread into days or weeks. Instead, try to take a more positive approach to the situation – you may not have got pregnant this time when you tried to, but that doesn’t have to mean that next cycle you won’t. Think positively and focus on the fact that you can try again next month, instead of wallowing and feeling upset. (Honestly, by taking steps to have a more positive outlook on the situation, you will feel so much better.)
Spend more romantic time with your partner
The process of trying for a baby is notorious for turning romantic, intimate couple time into a chore when it shouldn’t be one. The truth is that when you are actively trying to conceive, it’s far too easy for romantic time to feel like just another task to tick off of your agenda. To ensure that this doesn’t become the case, it’s important that you make more time to spend with your partner.
It could be worth sitting down together and discussing how infertility is impacting your relationship. It may be worthwhile letting your partner tell you how they feel, and you tell them how you feel. That way, the two of you should be able to find a way to spend more romantic time together without obsessing about getting pregnant. This will improve your relationship and ensure that your fertility struggles don’t negatively impact your relationship with your partner.
Don’t rush to see a doctor
There is a common misconception that if you don’t get pregnant within a couple of months of trying, you should rush to see a doctor when this isn’t the case. Experts suggest that if you’re under 35 and are healthy, to wait a year before even thinking about going to see a doctor. The reason that they say this is because it can take up to 12 months for healthy couples to conceive, so it’s silly to rush to see the doctor when it may not be necessary. If you’re over 35, then doctors recommend waiting six months, and if you haven’t conceived within that time, planning a visit. This is because when you reach this age, this is when your fertility levels begin to drop, potentially making problems conceiving more likely.
If the time comes to see a doctor, make sure that you choose to book into a specialist clinic, such as MCRM Fertility, for instance, so that you are able to get the expert help that you require. When it comes to what happens once you see a doctor, that will depend on what the results of any tests that you undergo say, and what your doctor recommends is the best next step for you to take.
Make self-care a priority
Believe it or not, when it comes to conceiving, there are been thousands of couple’s that have reported struggling to conceive, choosing to make some simple lifestyle changes, and then finding that they get pregnant as a result. That fact is that stress, for instance, can mess with your cycle, making it harder than expected to conceive. That’s where the importance of self-care comes in – if you want to ensure that you have every chance of getting pregnant and having a healthy pregnancy, you need to make self-care a priority.
This could mean making more time to hit the gym or practicing yoga, it could mean eating healthier, or it could mean making time to do the activities that you love, that help to relieve stress. There are also various self-care strategies that have been proven to help increase pregnancy rates in women that are struggling to conceive. So if you are yet to try these therapies, it’s a good idea to consider giving these a try.
Join a support group
One step that a lot of couples find beneficial when it comes to coping with fertility problems is joining a support group. The fact is that by joining a support group, you will be able to spend time and connect with other people in the same situation as you. When you have trouble conceiving, it’s easy to end up feeling isolated, as all of your friends and family are moving on with the next stages of their lives – getting pregnant and starting a family – while you are stuck in the same place.
This is where a support group can help. Spending time with other people in the same position as you can help to ensure that you don’t feel as isolated or alone. Struggling to conceive can be absolutely terrifying, especially if you feel like there’s no one else who you can share your worries and fears with.
It isn’t easy struggling to conceive, especially when there is so much to cope with, but by taking note of the advice above, you can make the process of coping, slightly easier for yourself.
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Girl on Fire
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