I totally had plans of blogging this whole ordeal step by step.  I took my camera and shot my 365 project, but…..the only way I accessed the internet was from my Blackberry.  I kept people updated with twitter and my Facebook status.  I kept saying when I got home I would blog an update.  Ha…it didn’t happen until now.  You all know I had went to the ER and was told I had a mass that was the size of a volleyball.  It appeared to be attached to my ovary and was suspected as ovarian cancer.  I was given a RX for pain pills and a referral to an oncologist and discharged.  I also blogged about how Monday I called the oncologist and they would not see me since I was self pay.  They were also shocked that I had been discharged.  I called the state to see what sort of help I could get with insurance so that maybe a doctor would see me.  No luck with any of this and I believe that is the last I had blogged.  So, below I will blog a day by day for you.

Monday my parents left Georgia to come help me and my family.  They arrived kind of late on Tuesday and were beat.  My dad just finished Cancer treatments and gets run down very easily,  imagine how hard that drive was on him.  I told them to get some sleep and that we could start fresh on Wednesday which was May 19th, 2010.  It sucked because this was Lauren’s birthday, but as days went on I got worse.  I wasn’t eating, my kidneys were being damaged, my ribs were close to breaking.  Lauren totally understood and said that we could have her birthday celebration when I was better.   She was such a big girl.

We went to an ER that is located in another Denton Hospital.  This hospital is called Denton Presbyterian.  We waited for hours in the waiting room and the pain began to get unbearable.  It was almost like labor but worse.  I had to pace.  When they finally got me into a room in the ER things moved quickly.  I first spoke with the PA for the ER doctor.  You could tell these people really cared and knew how bad this was.  No one seemed to understand why this had not been taken care of when I went to the ER before.

They sent me back for some X-Rays and then the Ultrasound tech came in.  She seen the mass and said it appeared to be 20x20x24 cm, kind of like an oblong volleyball.  She said she could not tell what it was attached to but that it needed to come out.  An Iv was then started with pain meds that helped me so much.   The ER doctor came in and said that he was calling the on call gynecologist to go over the case so far.  When he came back he said that they were admitting me and I would be having surgery as soon as they could get me in.finallyhelpwmsm

When I got to a room the new doctor was waiting to meet me and examine me.  She was so nice and I instantly felt at ease with all of this.  She said that she felt this needed to be out of me as soon as possible but they would not know what was going on inside me until they actually opened me up.  She said I had 2 choices.  She could transfer me to Dallas to be treated by an oncologist, but we had no idea how long this would take to arrange.  Especially with the fact that I have no insurance.  Or she could schedule me for an emergency surgery, which is what she thought was best.  At this point the pain in my body was unbearable and it was messing with the normal functions of my body so I agreed to stay and have it taken out immediately.  The only difference is, if this does turn out to be cancer they will have to open me up again.

6 AM I was having surgery.  I was so calm, it was insane…total peace.  I had no fear or anxiety and this is really strange for me.  I have never been so calm before a surgery.  This was an unplanned, emergency surgery and I had no idea what would happen.  I was calm.  I owe that to all of you!  All of the people that have emailed me, left comments, encouraged me and prayed for us.  You did this.  You made me have peace and know that whatever happened was how it was supposed to go and I put my life in God’s hands, 100%.

I remember talking to the nurse.  She was explaining that I would get a new IV and a tube down my throat so a machine could breath for me.  She said they would do this after I was out.  After that I have no memory.  I don’t remember getting anesthesia or anything.  I remember opening my eyes and thinking hmmm, something is different.  The recovery nurse was the same nurse that had been there talking to me.  Now she was pulling these tights on my legs and I felt weird.  Holy Crap, I already had surgery and I had no idea until that moment.  I had no saliva and started to panic.  She gave me an ice chip and it helped a little.

I found out that I had my left ovary and my left fallopian tube removed.  I also learned that the mass that was thought to be the size of a volleyball was actually much larger.  “Spike” as I have named my non-baby was actually larger than a basketball and very heavy.  No wonder I couldn’t drop this weight!  GEESH!  I have not learned the weight yet and will not until the reports come back of the tests run on it to see exactly what it was.  I will not know if this is cancer until the tests come back.

When I got back to my room my dad, mom and the J-man were there.  Some of you know that my dad just beat cancer.  In fact just days before coming out here he had just had the chemo port and feeding tube removed.  This trip was long and hard on my dad and I am glad he is here and I love him so much.

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This has taken me all day to write. I have much more to say, I promised to share everything and I will.  This was just much harder than I thought it would be.  I seriously thought it would be like a C-Section and I was so wrong.  I hurt so bad and this is going to take awhile to come back from.  I will blog the next part of this tomorrow.  Thanks so much for reading and letting me get it all out…I totally feel like an inconvenience to everyone around me.  I want to take care of myself and it’s killing me that I can not.

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